Is My Self-Esteem Low Enough to Date you?

Admittedly, this sounds arrogant. So let me explain.2013-09-17-The-Adventures-of-Self-Esteem-Girl

Today, as I flipped through the radio stations I heard some guy saying he just goes up to girls in bars and briefly chats them up and ask if he can give them a night they never will forget. This apparently works well for him. I, of course, make smart ass comments in my head about STDs causing the lasting memory. However, as I continued to listen, guys call in making comments about how all those girls must be “trolls.” It started me thinking. I thought about all my fabulous friends and myself, if we would go home with this guy. How many times have we said yes to a date or have given our number out to people (this goes for men, women, straight, gay, and bi) that were just not in our highest interest. Many amazing humans have dated the worst humans, the meanest girls, the bad boy, or the dead beat leach, etc. It may not even be that drastic, we just  date people that were are not a good fit for us. Why? We need to feel connection, love, or something other than hurt.

Life can be hard. When someone comes up to you and is interested in you (or even just interested in getting into your pants) it can be just the ego boost you need. I admit it, I had months of meeting guys that every time I said I was a doctor, they physically took a step back! To go from open body posture, leaning in to a step back and arms folding…sucked. My med school friends and I joked about our degrees being the ultimate “cock block.” Yes, we do realize that we don’t want to date guys that were too insecure to date a doctor, but it still hurt. After a while the bar drops, the self esteem drops, you think things like “Hey, at least he bathes somewhat regularly!”  This can happen to anyone, any profession, and any age group. It does not take much. It could be a bad relationship where a partner repeatedly criticizes you. That slow tearing down can drastically lower your self esteem to the point where one nice comment can get you to hop into a another not so great relationship. At one point in my life, my desire to be wanted grew, it did cloud my judgement. As a naturopathic doctor, I am into health, yet I somehow dated an alcoholic, overweight, fracking supporting narcissist,  (yep, not a bright spot in my life) but he seemed like a nice guy at first. Yep, he asked me out and made a genuine effort, that is it.

How can we stop this crazy behavior? We need to learn healthy self love (I am not talking masterbation but that too is healthy) and to raise your own & each others self esteems. As a society we tear each other down easily and seem to forget how to build each other up. Practice positive self talk, say nice things to your self rather than critical. Practice giving complement out, sadly, at first it is a little awkward. Fears about giving complements include: fear of people thinking you are being fake (like a used car salesman), weird or you are hitting on them. I soon learned how easy it is to give genuine complements without it feeling odd or fear that people would think it is a come on. Learn to accept complements. Yes, just soak them in and say thank you! If you brush them off like you are not worthy of them you are denying the giver and missing out on an amazing gift. Just imaging handing someone a gift and they say “keep it, I am not worthy.” Kinda sucks for both of you.

Building people up. “Bless that which you want” is a Huna Philosophy. Many times that we tear others down it is because we are jealous in a way or that we see an aspect of ourselves in that person that we don’t like. When we see that guy with the sports car and think “midlife crisis car” or “compensation,” what are we doing? We may not want that car but we may just want the extra cash to do something that we value. So why not just think “good for him!” Any time you find yourself thinking or saying something negative things, try blessing it. It can be as easy as saying to your friends “I wish I had the ovaries to wear that!” or telling someone they look amazing to their face.

Next time that person you know is not good for your wellbeing is chatting you up, smile, thank them for the flattering remarks and walk away knowing you love yourself and that is perfect. Maybe the right person will come along, maybe not but you will never know if you don’t raise the bar for yourself.

Self-esteem song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMf8xa__d9o

 

Health & Joy,

Dr. Susan Lundgren

image from http://www.lastkisscomics.com/comic/the-adventures-of-low-self-esteem-girl/

You Have Health in the Bag!

My dream to work in clinics around the world, by assisting those that need help the most, is becoming a reality and I would like you to join me on this journey!  It is always important to start improving the world in your own back yard first. After helping in the US for several years, I feel the urge to fly. However, I will continue supporting Hip Veggies (A collaboration of artists and food professionals, promoting locally-grown produce plus raising awareness and support for local hunger relief organizations.) and various US based organizations, but now is the time for me to venture out into the world.

If you ever wanted to be apart of a great adventure into small villages, large cities, remote forest, now is your chance. I will be posting videos and blogs from around the world sharing health tips, wonderful recipes, and humorous stories from the far corners of the world. Not only can you get a glimpse of this all on my blog but you can get more from my newsletter. (details will be posted soon–green bagso hold on tight for the ride of our lives!)

You can also participate by enjoying a health kit or two! I am making many health kits full of lovely goodies and a CD of gems from my studies to help you with some of the most common issues I see in my office. Why I am creating kits for you?

Well, unfortunately many of the clinics where I will be working do not have basic supplies for treating patients so they require every volunteer to donate money to run the clinics. Several clinics or places in need of doctors that have no clinics, desperately need the basics just to provide the minimal care for local people. For example, Mama Baby Haiti 1373948565is $700 for the first week, the medical “Hills” doctor in Thailand is $250 + fund raising, You get the idea.  My goal is to help many of these places as a doctor plus create gardens to plant healthy food and sustainable medicinal herbs so they can always have medicine without relying fully on outside support. Mama Baby Haiti’s garden is an amazing example of this. My friends have created a garden system that is completely sustainable.

Why do you want a bag, they are fabulous, fully lined, helpful, make the perfect gift, but best of all they will prevent you from going to hell. Yes, it is true you know that helping other is a sure ticket out of the flames of damnation! Maybe, just maybe, you want to do it because every time you get a bag a cute puppy or kitty gets a new forever home. Ok, just stick to the real reason–they are fabulous, great for helping you, while you get to help others and you help make the world a little bit better. To order, choose the bag you like and email me dr.slundgren@gmail.com – Health and Joy, Dr. L

Health in the Bag! $50 per kit payable via paypal!

40 Winks Kit (Insomnia):

  • CD on natural tips for better sleep
  • Lavender linen spray
  • Flax Eye pillow

Healthy Kids:

  • CD for natural kid friendly recipes for health and wellness
  • Herbal mix for steam inhalation for stuffy noses and infections
  • Chest rub for colds
  • Berry Greens
  • Hot/cold rice pack

Anxiety/ Stress

  • CD full of holistic health tips to fight stress and anxiety
  • Stress relief eye pillow
  • Aromatherapy spray

Depression

  • CD with great tips to increase joy in your life
  • Aromatherapy spray

Beauty

  • CD with natural beauty tips, DIY beauty recipes, and non toxic tips
  • Facial toner
  • Body spray
  • Salt scrub

Vitality

  • CD teaching you ways to get more energy naturally
  • Aromatherapy spray for room or body

Shopping Bag

  • List of the top 12 pesticide sprayed crops and the least sprayed crops
  • CD with Healthy food tips and recipes

Detox

  • CD with tips for a health way to detox your body, home, and emotions
  • Detox bath clay/sa
  • Detox teas

Strong Bones:

  • CD of preventing and reversing osteoporosis

Cold & Flu:

  • CD with everything you need to know about staying healthy and fighting colds/Flu
  • Steam inhalation herbal mix

Aches & Pains:

  • CD with tips for minor injuries, aches and pains, and more
  • Hot/ Cold Rice pack
  • Herbal pain relief cream

Shark Week: PMS support

  • CD with tips, recipes, and ways to improve your cycle
  • Hot rice pack
  • Aromatherapy spray
  • Bath salts

Forbidden Fruit…Harvest Your Pleasure

Would you like a little more of the pleasurable things in your life?

Wanting less stress and more fun?

Ever feel like you only can have the reward once you’ve “earned” it by doing a less than appealing tasks?

Maybe you have already earned it! Perhaps you just need a little help finding the pleasure in your daily life, unleashing hidden pleasures! Let us help you reap a more pleasurable life. You are only limited by your own mind and the fears within…who would fear pleasure? Sign up today!

Harvest your Pleasure #4

Shoes Verse Sex: Libido Health and Clothes

As many of you know we don’t always make the best food choices for our health, but the same can also be said of our clothing choices. Way back in the days of varsity track, coach Williams nicely informed us how high heels would shorten our Achilles tendons, making us more prone to injury. However, he failed to mention how later in life we may be tempted to put our dear Achilles in peril to make our legs appear toner, butts perkier, and basically create a flashing sign announcing to the world that we were absolutely ready to have great sex….or meaningless sex that we may regret in the morning. When pondering this and other clothes we don, not for comfort, but purely for sex appeal, I scientifically calculated the paradoxical effect.

First take the CFMs…for the people who have lived under a rock (or my mother, who is already dying a small death that I am writing this.) CFM is the acronym for “Come Fuck Me” heels. At the start of the evening you look amazing, feeling like you are ready to take the world by storm. Everything works according to plan. You have the attention of some potential suitors, scored a drink or two, which helps dramatically with the stabbing pain starting in your toes. Unfortunately, we are not designed to sport all 100 and some odd pounds on a 2” x 2” platform at our toes and a thin spike at our heel. Now, too many drinks will certainly lead to an imitation of a weeble, too few certain pain. So, you are holding at a respectable 2 drinks, nursing the 3rd, knowing it is the key. If find a place to sit you will ruin the effects of the heels; you must stand. Now two hours have past, the pain is evident on your face, body language and manner in which you respond to anyone who dares to speak to you. Fantasies of punishing the stupid man (you know it must have been a man) that invented heels enter your every thought. You start to think about what a fabulous weapon these CFMs could make. The next person that says something that stupid and obvious is going to get impaled on that spike. You see what has happened the heels that were sure to get you laid now have turned you into a psyco bitch waiting to inflict pain similar to the pain you are feeling. Ok, it is not that dramatic, but scientist have proven discomfort to full blown pain drastically decreases libido. So here is the paradoxal graph of the CFMs.

   Shoes Wearer’s Sex Appeal verse Hours Spent in Them*

Image

*This graph takes into account moderate drinking by both the wearer and the potential suitor.

 Now lets take, Spanx…both men and women are now slipping oppressive, fat squeezing girdle like things under their clothes to appear slimmer, sleeker and less lumpy. First, the obvious, you may look amazing but there is no way in hell you are taking off you clothes in front of anyone with those lurking beneath. You might as well have on a chastity belt. Next, you have a strangle hold on your lymph system with these things. Do you really think that is going to work at well for you in the long run? Your lymph, in short, is your body’s sewage system, not something to keep stagnant. If you back up the lymph you’ll get everything you were trying to avoid, unattractiveness in various forms! Frequent colds & flu, fatigue, dark circles under eyes, and cellulite are just a few symptoms of stagnant lymph.

Next, Affliction shirts, (ok, there really is not any health concern here) you just look like a douche bag. However, we do need to be aware of synthetic materials, and none organic materials. These have nasty chemicals to protect them from mold, rodents and insects during travel across seas. They also have neurotoxins from pesticides, dyes, and plastics that off gas for weeks. To the chemically sensitive these are worse than modern rock put to muzak; to the rest of us they are just one more straw adding to our toxic load burden and messing with our endocrine system and neurological system. So you may look and act like a douche bag. To top it off, synthetic fibers do not breath, causing you to sweat more again losing points in the dating realm.

Since we all would like to be attractive and healthy, I suggest we get real. We wear comfy clothes that make us feel good and express our healthy self. Today, I went out and bought a 6 pack of ‘I am never getting laid’ under wear. (anything that comes in a 6 pack just implies that, so I was being redundant.) I also am planning to buy a few tee shirts to show off my regular self. I think it is official, I will never date again…please send Humane Society emails for cat adoptions.

Image

 

Force Majeure of the Brown Rice Crepes

Some say “the mother of invention is necessity”…well, the mother of invention in my kitchen is “missing ingredients when you already started the recipe” or “avoidance of going to the store.” I guess those can be considered necessity, but I usually call it “too lazy to go to the store” or poor planning.

In today’s case, it was the dreaded “missing a partial ingredient.” I really wanted brown rice flour crepes with greens, goat cheese and an egg. However, I was ½ cup short on the brown rice flour. I was going to divide the recipe in half, but it calls for one egg.  Frankly, half of one egg is do-able, but I thought I would substitute instead.  So, I grabbed some Teff flour I bought for a recipe I never seemed to make again and used it instead. The end result was so damn yummy; I thought it was only right to share it with you.

In changing the recipe, I was unable to make them über thin and foldable like crepes, so they are quite lovely thin pancakes with toppings.

Teff and Brown Rice Skinny Pancakes (Gluten Free)

 

Skinny Pancake with spinach, tomato, goat cheese

Skinny Pancake with spinach, tomato, goat cheese

crepe ingredient

Batter:

  • ½ cup brown rice flour
  • ½ cup teff flour
  • 1 cup liquid (almond, oat, or rice milk works best)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 pinch of salt (I like Celtic sea salt or Himalayan)
  • 1 tsp virgin cold press olive oil
  • Some oil or Butter to coat the pan
  • love

Topping ideas:

Fruit:  Strawberries, peaches, mangos, nectarines, blueberries, raspberries…

Honey and walnuts

Sautéed greens and egg

Sautéed mushrooms and veggies

Or my favorite, sauté onions, garlic, then mushrooms and greens with sundried tomatoes added to the pan last. Top the pancake then add a little goat cheese.

Directions:

  • Mix all the ingredients together by hand with a fork or whisk till smooth.
  • Heat butter (small slice) or coconut oil (man this is really good) on medium heat.
  • Add a small amount of the batter in a circle to keep the batter thin- or plop it in and spread it with a spoon. It does not spread with tilting the pan around like other batters.
  • Flip when they start to brown
  • Serve hot

Better Than Tissues: Tips for Allergy Relief!

Because I love you so, and do not want you to suffer from allergies, I am posting a video chuck full of tips.  All natural and easy to do.

http://youtu.be/7iH3qjNz0Sk

Video

Breakfast on the Go…that Helps You Go!

Flipping Fast Food…The Healthier side of to go breakfast!

Smoothies, a great way to get all the nutrients you need first thing in the morning. Helps get your morning going; with the added fiber it helps get your bowels moving too :) It can be your regular morning routine!

*First find a protein powder that works for you.

Here are just a few recipes to get you started!

 

Island Green

Blend until creamy.  Makes 3 glasses.

1 Cup Spinach

4 Peaches

1 Mango

1 Banana (can add an apple instead, if you dislike naners!)

3 scoops of protein powder

1 Cup Water

 

Fruity & Fun

Blend until creamy.  Makes 3 glasses.

3 Kale Leaves

2 Apples

1 Peach

2 Pears

3 scoops protein powder

1 1/2 Cups Water

 

Berry Bonanza

Berry Bonanza

Blend till smooth. Makes 3 glasses

1 cup Frozen blueberries

1 cup frozen strawberries

1 cup raspberries

3 cups coconut milk (can use cooled green tea!)

3 scoops protein powder

Damn Yummy

Flipp’n Fast Food…Healthy & Gluten Free Recipes

Hello Stomaches;

I am updating the “Healthy Living” page with a plethora of “Flipp’n Fast Food,”  Healthy, gluten free recipes that take 30min or less to create. I will have Youtube videos of each recipes as well, for those that like more bells and whistles!

Release Anxiety by Getting a Set of Balls

One of the top selling pharmaceutical categories in the US is anxiety medicine. Not only do doctors prescribe anxiety meds, the US population seeks help with anxiety via botanical, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, lifestyle changes, and various supplements. To help my patients and the greater public, I am designing programs to help with anxiety (plus other common issues) which shall be available online shortly. For instant gratification, I will provide helpful tips via my blog and website now!

On to the part you really want … I humbly suggest that we get a set of balls…not the type you are thinking! Aromatherapy balls!

1. Buy a piece of foam or a natural sponge about the size of a tennis ball.

Step one materials 2. Tie a soft piece of cloth around the foam. I suggest fleece, velvet, or something super wonderful to touch. We should enjoy playing with our balls.

Wrap 3. Put a few drops of Roman Chamomile, Lavender, Bergamot, or Melissa essential oil onto the ball.

4. When you become anxious, stressed or frustrated; whip out your balls and apply 1-2 fresh drops of you chosen oil and squeeze the ball rhythmically while you take deep breaths. Take a 4 count inhale and a 6 count exhale as the heat of your hand releases the aroma from the balls. The smoother these breaths, the better for your brain and heart.

Studies have found Chamomile quite effective at reducing anxiety.Add oil
If you would like to add extra power to help the anxiety melt away, say a positive affirmation such as “I am calm and in complete control of my emotions.”

Visit http://www.ptera-wellness.com for more helpful hints and downloads.

Health & Joy,

Dr. Susan Lundgren

 

Why I wholly believe that Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming can heal on a physical level by healing our emotional state, and the science that backs me up! ~Melissa Reese

Guest Blog by Melissa Reese246926_187760041274736_1923448_n

Has there ever been a time that someone said something in front of other people that embarrassed you so much that you actually turned red and/or starting physically sweating? Only words were spoken, but for some reason you had an emotional response that affected you physically. For some they do everything in their power to hold those emotions back as an attempt to also hide the physical response. The only thing is itʼs already too late; as soon as those words even started to come out of that personʼs mouth your body was already in mid process of releasing chemicals, and as much as we try to counteract that happening, our conscious mind is too slow. *See we actually process information from outside of us first, getting a signal and info to the heart, that then gets processed by all the receptor sites in our gut and then like a chemist our brain instantaneously tells our system which chemicals to release depending on how we filter the information. See our perception on the information is also critical because how we perceive what one is saying is what perpetuates our emotional response. By the time we start to “critically” think about the information in our conscious thought process, everything else is already done and on itʼs way through our entire system. That emotional response is stored in our cellular memory and in our mind. So, we can simply think about that past occurrence, remember it, and boom, we are physically reacting in either the same or very similar way, as if it was occurring right then and there, even though it was weeks, months, or years ago.* The only way to not react to that situation in the same way is to “let it go” or think of it in a different way. To translate, “letting it go” is a form of forgiveness, and thinking about something in a different way is simply re-framing it, changing our perception therefore our feeling, and our emotional response to that thought, that memory. So, how do we just do this? Well, the powerful decision making ability to decide these differences lies within us! Thatʼs right, we all have the innate power to re-decide, to think and believe differently; and sometimes we can only do this by letting it go/forgiveness, looking at the situation in a different way and maybe being able to laugh about it. Either way a different emotional response then overrides the previous one with more positive chemicals and thus changing how your body responds to that memory, thought, or belief. Have you ever learned information about someone or something that made you look at it/them in a way you never have before, either good or bad, and notice how instantaneously you change your mind? In a split second, now armed with this “new” information, it or they is completely different to you. Sometimes this new information can bring angst, anger, stress, or anxiety; however, on the flip side, have you ever noticed once you think about something differently, you are able to laugh at it or just let it go, and you feel lighter, freer, or just better?

Our body knows how to heal itself, just like when we cut ourselves and our cells automatically know how to form a scab, or how our body allows bruises to simply disappear as if they were never there. Sometimes we get in the way of our own healing, picking the scab or continuing to bump into that same bruise and creating a scar and more soreness. The same goes for when we choose not to let go of something, allow something to “eat us up”, and choose to never look at things in a different way. Maybe itʼs because weʼre stubborn, maybe itʼs because we donʼt know how or even where to start, either way itʼs nice to have someone else help us get out of our own way so we can heal the way we were meant to. Thatʼs where a Hypnotherapist/NLP practitioner or Coach comes into play. See, traditional counseling uses only discussion or talk therapy; whereby you are constantly bringing up the past, talking about hurtful things, and your body is then constantly having that same past reaction, therefore strengthening the negative physical response over and over again. In Hypnotherapy/NLP we work to help the client “let it go”, see it differently, and create a different emotional response; therefore giving our body permission to heal, getting out of our own way.
For the skeptics I recommend reading Dr. Candace Pertʼs book “Molecules of Emotion” as well as Dr. Bruce Liptonʼs book “The Biology of Belief”. These books are the science behind Hypnotherapy and NLP.
*This article includes information learned from “The Living Matrix”, “The Cure Is”, Dr. Candace Pert, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Linda Bennett, and Dr. Matt James.

More from Melissa Reese.

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