Shark Week! Don’t let PSM Bite…

Shark Week!

Sharks can be dangerous but PMS is down right deadly.

According to the folks at Urban Dictionary, Shark week can be defined in the following ways:

1. A week in the summer when discovery channel broadcasts all its shows in the shark theme. The best week to watch TV. e.g. Bill: Hey dude you wanna watch TV?  Ted: Not really man.  Bill: But bro its Shark week!!!
Ted: Really! Most Excellent!

2. The week a woman experiences menstruation. e.g. Shannon was in a bad mood because it was shark week.

3. The best week of your life. e.g. “Dude, it’s shark week!” “I know Dude, I haven’t seen sunlight in 4 days!”

Today I am focusing on definition number two….behind door number two dwells much evil, but it does not have to be that way. We may not want to frolic about in tight white pants with little puppies in a field of flowers but it can be a little closer to a happy medium between definition 2 and 3.

Usually we abandon all hippy instincts of being at one with our bodies, our thoughts and, most of all, our emotions and choose to go to war. We fight to regain a semblance of our selves, one were we are in control. Seriously,  we pull out all the weapons: chemical warfare, physical fights, solitary confinement, emotional games, fire/ ice, and other forms of tourture.  In this blog, I want to arm both women and the men that love us with some weapons of healing rather than distruction.

Sometimes, hell, most of the time, we can not banish our alien bodies to a week of solitary confinement (the red tent), where we can rest and take care of ourselves.  Sometimes we just need to put our big girl pants on- with a sexy diaper like device or blood catcher, and get on with our busy, demanding lives.  However, if we do a little work we can hopefully have less shark weeks that bite.

General tips to help PMS:

The biggest help is taking good care of you body and doing a detox or cleanse!

See a naturopathic doctor like me
-Avoid sugar and caffeine – ya, this is not what you want to hear, as you devour that chocolate. However,  the less inflammation in your body the better. Also, caffeine needs to be cleared in you liver by the very cool Cytochrome P450 system at work in our livers. It is as cool as it sounds.
-Doing a liver cleanse, make sure you are healthy enough for this first. Our liver is in charge of breaking down our estrogen amongst other hormones, toxins, and goop. So a clean, high functioning liver helps keep us in balance, which helps keep us from being raving bitches (to put it bluntly).
-Be kind to yourself, take a break and rest, your body is doing a lot of work. Stay hydrated, well rested and eat foods like lightly steamed veggies and easy to digest foods.
– Try Homeopathy, great homeopathics include: Cimicifuga Plex by Unda
-Try herbal teas and herbal tinctures to promote healthy liver function and relax smooth muscles: Dandelion tea for your liver, Cramp and Skullcap bark tincture for relaxing smooth muscles! Also Chaste tree berry, calcium, vitamin B6, vitamin E, Vit D3 and magnesium have all been shown to minimize these symptoms. However, be sure to check with your physician before taking any supplements, especially if you are already taking other medications or supplements.

Scary Shark Week Facts:

45 Per Cent of Attempted Suicides occurred during the week preceding Menstruation in a 1968 Study (Wallach and Rubin)

67% of Alcohol Drinking Binges occur during PMS

Criminal Stats:

North Carolina Prison Study 41 % of the inmate assaults during PMS (1971)  (Ellis and Austin)

Of 42 New York State Inmates Interviewed, 62 per cent were premenstrual during the crime commission
156 British Women imprisoned for theft, prostitution and drunkenness almost half were during paramenstrum
Out of 50 Violent crime Females, 44% occurred during PMS
Henry III(1216-1272) granted pardons for those who killed while of unsound mind during menstration
Edward I (1272-1307) Pardonable Homicide: A Special Verdict: Spared life, Loss of Property
Edward II (1307-1327)Proclaimed a “Madness” a defense for women with PMS
And the stories continued from the horrific to the down right amusing…

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